032 | The Gift of Lower Standards

Sometimes there is great wisdom in a side comment. I enjoy listening to the A Beautiful Mess podcast with Elsie Larson and her sister Emma Chapman as they talk home renovation among other things. I also appreciate what they’ve achieved as business women. ⁣ ⁣In episode 56, they were talking about waiting to renovate the kitchen in Elsie’s new home. She described being surprised at how much she was enjoying a kitchen that was totally not her and looking forward to the dreaming and planning that would come with waiting to do a kitchen remodel.

In the midst of it, really as an aside, Elsie said “Lower standards are sometimes the best thing you can give yourself.”⁣ ⁣ I hear this not as encouragement to compromise quality, but as an invitation to be realistic about what’s possible at any given time. I hear an invitation to be patient, to set priorities, and remember what is essential. ⁣ ⁣

These words are a good reminder to me at this time of year when my aspirational self tries to hijack the to-do list for the holidays. I have visions of all the things that will make the season perfect and then get myself worked up—and engage in some highly critical self talk—when I don’t have enough time or energy to pull it off. This is not good or helpful for anyone.⁣ ⁣

For the past few years, I’ve had visions of making and decorating cut-out Christmas cookies with Miss T. With my mom, it was a total production every year and kind of magical so I wanted my daughter to have that experience. What I realized, though, is my grand dreams of what it should look like were an obstacle to actually doing the thing. This year, inspired by a parishioner who shared a story of decorating cookies with her kids and now grandkids, I’m embracing a simpler vision of making cut-out cookies with Miss T. What matters most is the time we spend together, not the elaborateness of the cookies.⁣

In what part of your life would lowering your standards be a gift to yourself?⁣ ⁣

In this holiday season, in what way(s) can you give yourself the gift of lower expectations?⁣