033 | Deeper Healing
One of the core messages of Advent is pushing back against empire and power. In Isaiah 61, we hear the coming of the Messiah brings good news to the oppressed, binds up the broken-hearted, and brings liberation to captives.
It may seem like dissonance between that message and the reality that the bulk of my energy the past week has been turned inward, focusing on projects that many might call mere cosmetics. Yet, I count myself part of the ranks of the broken-heart being bound up and healed.
Three years ago at this time, we were anticipating traveling to China to adopt Miss T. A month earlier my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Those intervening weeks were a rollercoaster as my dad had one complication after another. He went into the hospital on Christmas Eve that year and I put on the joy of Christmas as I led worship not knowing what the night would bring for him. We left for China in January not knowing for certain he would be alive when we returned. Thanks be to God he was. We had four more precious months with him after we returned.
In the first half of 2018, I became a parent, we were helping our daughter adapt to life with us after losing everything she knew, my dad was dying and change was coming at church as our long time senior pastor prepared to retire. Then came months of grief as I said good bye to people, places that held precious memories, and familiar ways of doing things. Every aspect of my life was impacted by significant change and there was no place to turn for respite except my relationship with Andrew. In the midst of exhaustion and burnout something had to give. We were in survival mode for a long time.
It has taken a long time to begin to feel the impact of resurrection and renewal that has been bubbling for months. That I finally have energy to not just tidy for a temporary effect but examine what isn’t working and rethink the systems in our home speaks to healing that has happened and openness to a new future. I trust the fruit of this work will be renewed energy that propels me into the world to join others in bringing justice.
How are you experiencing renewal and hope?
