169 | Whose lens are you looking through?

WHOSE LENS ARE YOU LOOKING THROUGH? || I was single for a long time. I didn’t get married until I was in my early 40’s. Dating as a pastor can be tricky. Most people don’t really get what being a pastor is about or they bring all kinds of outmoded expectations to the experience.

So, I dated; but me being a pastor was definitely my freak factor to a lot of guys.

My parents–my mom especially–used to accuse me of being “too picky.” But why would I want to reshape myself to accommodate someone who didn’t respect something so core to my life and my way of moving through the world?

To be honest, it was a painful season. I felt pressure to view myself first through the lens of other people and that added to the loneliness of being single in a culture so oriented to marriage and kids. 

Then I met Andrew. To him, me being a pastor wasn’t my freak factor, it was something he deeply respected. That became abundantly clear when for Christmas a few months after we started dating he gave me a painting. He had painted me preaching. The painting is bright and vibrant and hopeful. 

What I learned through that gift was that he and I saw things through a similar lens–a lens that already valued each of us in our fullness and complexity. 

Whose lens are you looking through?

Do you feel pressure to view yourself first through the lens of society or someone who judges you harshly? Whose lens would that be?

What if you look at yourself or others through your most gracious and compassionate lens?

What if you look at yourself or others through God’s lens of abundant love and delight?

✨Whose lens helps you feel most vital, alive, and seen?