146 | Release the Rules, Focus on the Relationship

RELEASE THE RULES, FOCUS ON THE RELATIONSHIP || I went through a real dry patch awhile back in my personal devotional life with regard to my daily quiet time habit. I knew this time was important to my spirit and would impact the shape and quality of my days; but too often, it felt obligatory or forced.

As I look back, I can see that I had heaped a lot of shoulds, have to’s, and expectations that didn’t serve onto that time. I was focusing on rules when I really needed to focus on the relationship, in this case an invitation to be present to myself and to God in God’s loving presence. When my focus shifted, the energy and vitality returned to my morning practice and I’ve been able to savor the gift of it.

As humans, we do this in so many ways in so many facets of our lives . . .

+ In our ways of doing daily life in our household
+ In our relationships with others
+ In our relationship with our body
+ In our relationship with money
+ In our work life
+ In our politics

I think we come by this impulse honestly. Often we start with an intention or practice that is designed to enhance a relationship, but over time we can lose sight of that original desire as we get more caught up in the tactics of the practice.

So, how do we find our way back to focusing on the relationship?

For me, in my quiet time, I asked myself “What is the most important thing that I can do in this relationship? The answer for me was “show up.” When I let showing up with my coffee and lit candle (because I love those things) be enough, I felt myself opening again to God who was already present with me.

🌱In what facet of your life would it be helpful to release the rules and focus on the relationship?
🌱What rule(s) are getting in the way of focusing on the relationship?
🌱What shift would allow you to be more attentive to the relationship?