076 | Judge the Fruit
Last week When Miss T got home from school, she wanted a little snuggle time on the couch while she watched TV. As we were lying there, this is the exchange we had:
“Um, Mommy? How’s it going with your life?”
“How’s it going with my life?”
“Yes.”
I paused and then responded:
“Pretty good. How’s it going with your life?”
Without missing a beat, she replied, “Well I’m super duper young, so it’s going great so far!”
This kid! This question! How’s it going with my life? She went back to watching TV and I was left pondering the question.
Pretty quickly, my mind returned to a conversation I had with my spiritual director a few months ago when we were taking about life, discernment, and listening and watching for the movements the Holy Spirit.
I’ve been working with my spiritual director for a long time and he knows well my bend toward self-criticism and self-judgment. Practicing self-compassion has been my ongoing work for many years. He said something in that conversation that struck me so profoundly (swipe to see the hastily written notes I captured):
Discernment comes by judging the fruits versus judging the behaviors.
My pattern had been to answer the question “How’s my life going?” by judging my behaviors—really, all the ways I perceived I was falling short.
Judging, evaluating, looking for the fruit was a shift in perspective that makes room for grace to move and flow and heal, makes room for discovery, makes room for new possibilities.
So, I’m listening to my spiritual director’s guidance and encouragement:
✨ Keep following the energy.
✨ Ask, “What’s life giving for me?”
How’s it going with my life? It feels like a gift. That’s more than pretty good.
How’s it going with your life?
What fruits do you experience?
What is giving you energy?
What is life giving for you?
