095 | Speaking Truth in Love
“Speaking truth in love” is one of our six core values here at Cultivating Sanctuary (SM). This practice is fundamental to the work of getting unstuck by releasing old narratives in our lives. It can be hard work at times, but it is healing work that expands our self-awareness and self-understanding and so frees us in the process of becoming our truest selves.
During one of my sessions with my spiritual director this spring, I remember observing to him that although I tend to agitate over big work/vocational decisions, at least I’ve been more clear and decisive in big life decisions—like the decision to move to our current home or the decision to adopt our daughter.
He matter of factly responded, “That’s not how I remember it.” He then highlighting several things that made it clear I had a very selective memory in creating a narrative around my discernment process for those decisions.
That conversation was a gift. It was an “a-ha” moment that revealed a blind spot hindering my ability to discern, to listen for what was right for my life and my family. In that moment I became so clearly aware of the ways in which I would dither about what I wanted in my heart of hearts because I was afraid of what other people would think or how they would respond.
Here’s the thing, he was able to speak an uncomfortable truth to me and do it in a non-shaming way because we have a foundation of trust. It’s his role to listen and observe in order to help me better listen and observe the ways God’s Spirit is moving in my life. He also spoke those words in a tone of humor that was earned from the longevity of our work together. The awareness I gained that day has changed my discernment process in a really positive way as I more consistently examine my motivations for a particular course of action.
Reflection Question
Who is someone you trust to “speak the truth in love” into your life?
P.S. If you think it might be helpful to have a spiritual mentor as a conversation partner, let’s talk! Sign up for a free 25-minute Introductions & Explorations session.
