044 | Procrastination
I’ve been procrastinating my final tasks with Incarnation. Andrew asked me how many of them are “forward facing”—meaning things that will help others continue the ministries going forward. It was a good question and I can honestly say everything on my list is in that category.
So, why the procrastination? I know it’s not hanging on because I’m afraid to let go or afraid of what comes next. On the contrary, I’m excited about this time before me, the openness and possibilities.
Frankly, I think my problem is not procrastination but I simply haven’t had the energy to rally and get things done. This feels different than the weariness or exhaustion that comes with burnout that I’ve felt in the past. I don’t feel that heaviness. It’s more like the release that comes after highly focused effort—like finals week or the push to launch a big project.
A wise friend gave some sage advice just before the news I was leaving Incarnation went public. They said something to the effect of, “You’ll have to create extra space for the emotions that come with leaving. Things will take longer because energy will go to processing those feelings.” Over the last two months I have experienced joy and grief, gratitude, goodbyes, see you laters, and I’ll miss yous—all the gorgeous fruit of investing in and being part of a community.
While the reality of Covid certainly changed what this farewell season has looked like, the people of Incarnation have sent me off well. Now it’s time for me to do my part and leave. So today I am cultivating sanctuary by giving myself grace on what I’ve done and left undone these last days. I am also cultivating sanctuary—creating space for renewal and what comes next—by getting things done. It’s time.
If you are procrastinating something today, why? What’s the real reason?
How can you give yourself grace and then move forward?
What emotions are you experiencing that you need to allow space and energy to process?
