FRIDAY PRACTICE Release || What expectations can you release?

Expectations can be a blessing and they can be a burden. On the positive side, expectations establish a sense of possibility. Shared expectations can create clarity and mutual accountability as we do life together. But what happens when expectations are one sided?

I’ve seen this play out in a few ways. One is when there is a disconnect on expectations between two people. This can happen between spouses or partners in the execution of household tasks. It can happen in the workplace or among friends. It can happen between parents and children (of any age). Looking back, much of the conflict that my mom and I experienced over the years was rooted in mismatched expectations of each other or a situation.

The other is when we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves that no one else has. If you have any perfectionistic tendencies, this habit likely rears its head this time of year as we prepare for holiday celebrations. But throughout the year it can play out as overestimating our capacity for juggling all the things–or beating ourselves up for unrealistic standards.

What happens when we do the work to make sure our expectations and the expectations of the other person are aligned? What happens when we right-size our expectations of ourselves and fine-tune them with grace and self-compassion? We begin to experience a new freedom to be who we are in our truest sense in relationship with ourselves and others.

This week reflect on the following questions:

🌱 What expectations feel like a burden to you? What expectations that you have for others feel burdensome for them?

🌱 What expectations can you release?

🌱 What would it feel like in your body, mind, and spirit to release those expectations?

🌱 If elements of the expectation are important to you or the other person, how might you renegotiate the expectation to make it mutual and honoring of both of you?