Making friends as an adult can feel hard. It’s been 10 months since I left the congregation I served for more than 18 years. As I prepared to leave, what I dreaded was the way my connection to a community I love would change. Isn’t that what happens, we make a choice to change an aspect of our lives in a positive way, but with that comes some loss and grief.

I was right. I miss seeing my people from my church on a regular basis—though, let’s face it, things had already changed because of the pandemic. I was blessed with wonderful staff colleagues and lay leaders and some beautiful friendships. Mostly, I miss worshipping in person with people I feel connected to. Again, that had already changed because of the pandemic.

My goal for this year was rest, renewal, and discernment and this time been rich with all three. But there has been one blessing I didn’t expect. I didn’t realize how tending to my own well-being would expand my capacity for making new people connections.

I was prepared for making new connections to be hard. It did take some effort and initiative on my part, but I have been grateful for the new connections I’ve made throughout this year in our neighborhood and through online courses and connections. They have been an important part of this year of renewal and discovery.

I still miss my beloved church colleagues and I’m so grateful when we are able to connect. I still miss the community and people I worshiped with for so many years. That’s okay. It shows that the connection was and is real. Again, I feel gratitude for that gift.

I finally feel ready to look for a new church home. It will be different this time. I won’t be the pastor. We’ll be closer to home, hoping for there to be some kids from Miss T’s school. Maybe we’ll choose a small church this time. But having experienced the gift of deep, resonant community, I know that’s essential and will take some time. I will make time.